When I attended high school, I hit many obstacles that I'm sure many other students will face through years to come. These obstacles weren't whether I got good grades, or my attendance was perfect. It was about who I was as a person. Year by year, we try to figure out who we are, and what makes us fit in into this world.
There I was attending a new school with no familiar faces. My chance to start over and give them a different impression. I decided to try to become popular, which was my dream in middle school. I tried that for about half a year. I realized popularity isn't what it's cracked up to be. Who wants to get up early to be that perfect doll-face, spend hundreds of dollars on brand clothing, and starve to get that skinny little body. It just wasn't me.
My favorite color became black. That's the only thing I wore for the next few years. I dressed as my closet threw up on me. I didn't care much of what people thought and because of that I became more careless of myself. I slipped into a deep depression. I didn't know if I was really depressed or just the clique I chose to join rubbed off on me. My jacket that I wore everyday became my best friend. It hid cuts and scars. Love was my new obsession. Heart break after heart break. Tear after tear. My grandpa once told me that I scared him when I was like that. I should have know when people called me things like scary, goth, and intimidated.
My love for colors grew. When I'm around a rainbow of colors, I'm content. Life without colors is dull and boring. I dropped my dark life. My social life was depleting by the second. I attended three schools. I thought being a nerd was the coolest thing in the world. Boys loved that I knew about Star Wars, and that I played video games. That I was more than just hair and makeup. That I actually had a brain in there.
I've been apart of everything. Which to stick with, time will only tell. I pass through other girls' profiles and get so jealous that they've stuck with one thing. That tan bombshell, the sexy goth pin-up, and the college girl.
Am I truly unique to be apart of everything or am I just torn between three worlds?
