Feelings of confusion cross my mind. The paths lie upon me, and I haven't came up to par on the whole situation. Time is ticking away on which road to take. What do I want my future to hold? Great guys with great money were always a priority to me. I wouldn't think of myself as a gold digger, because money is always important when it comes to relationships. Another value I hold is communication. Can I trust them enough to confide in my secrets which are locked under key. my Pandora box should never be opened, only if they really pry deep. It's not easy to be outspoken about my emotions. They never do myself justice. my feelings and my thoughts are on two different wave lengths. I can never tell what I'm truly feeling. I'm rarely angry, my happiness seems to carry an awkward swing, and my excitement is kept askew.

Nothing seems to be thrilling. I'm not one of those girls who scream and jump around just because they see something "totally cute".My enthusiasm is shown with a monotone "sure". Monotone. How can I light my fire of inspiration?

I'm extremely quiet and everyone knows it. Strangers let me know frequently. I try to be more extrovert, but my problem is that I don't even know how to accomplish that. Asking questions about some one's life seems too invasive. Coming up with those questions is a chore. In-depth conversations are only carried out by myself, within my own mind. solving problems, worrying about tomorrow's achievements. The future is such a dark and ugly place.

Blank stares down the paths of my life before me. my heart has not chosen. my should doesn't not sing out the answer. I must need more time.

I need to get my personal goals out of the way before I start choosing paths of situations I think I'm too young for. Marriage and a family is soon to be around the corner. I'm scared and excited at the same time. Am I ready?

Time. I just need time.