Blackout!

[spoiler] BLACK OUT!! 
Today from 8am to 8pm
Protest against SOPA and PIPA!! 
SAY NO TO CENSORSHIP!! [/spoiler]

Thoughts That enter my mind...

everything i know is brought upon me
beyond the deep blue sea
origami
photo shop my life into another
pages of the book slowly uncover
Bitches aint shit but cliques and bows
my love for you is like a thousand rose
Open up and look inside
beats bump 808
set me straight
Fuck em to the side when you wanna roll
eyes to the sky, wanna load a bowl
my life has came I therorize
philosophically,  that's the prize
Tears for this don't belong
Love is just enough to move along
to the beat within us, we will dance
Come closer to my voice,  i'm seducing
Wanna playboy bunny in my lucy?
rainbow, stars, Dr. Suess
Ballet, ribbon, and grey goose
Threats from upstaires inside my mind
make me lose control, I'm here for the ride
The djs love for his music
The whole set is translucid
Hey cutie, what did you think of it?
wanna ride back with me after Jimni Cricket?
I wrote this song about you
I sung it so loud alone I turned blue
Penelope Wazoski is my favorite word
thanks to Riot and his crush on a nerd
Valentine, My love for you will never die
I keep my promises, I never lie
I keep jars on the window sill at night
for the times I think of you and cry, red light

I'm talking about glitter!
the ways it flitters as it shutters, and the butters in the sunners so bright bright bright


Move your body to the beat
don't rest, come test the heat
i need your body close to me
drip your sweat on top of thee
Be provactive, sex in the club
I'm a lady, dinner and a dub
Ben and Jerry's and a hug
X O X, Love you boo
haters gunna hate, Love you too
Name taste sweet, it's always in their mouth
Backstabber friends go down south
To my boyfriend's dick
It's the empire
Creator
neglection
reflection
Of a time where I was of knowing

the end

If I'm so loved, then why do I still feel empty?

I tell myself time and time again to NOT feel this way. I hate the feeling where I'm questioning my motives, doubting my decisions, regretting my past. I desperately wish for a power switch. These thoughts NEED to GO AWAY! It's so frustrating and annoying to be constantly ran down by the same unanswered questions. What I'm doing with my life at the moment is none of my brain's concern. I'm trying to fucking live, and the little voice inside is fucking ruining it. That's not right, Jennifer. You should know better.
This relationship is driving me up the wall. All lies aside. Shannon is a psychotic bitch. She's easily angered, and will let you know by screaming top lung. The house has to be cleaned EVERY MOTHERFUCKING DAY and if it wasn't cleaned by her then it was cleaned wrong. She takes every word personally, which makes her mood swing faster than a baseball bat.
Chris is a slob. His teeth are never brushed. He never finishes his chores. His butt crack is always showing. If it isn't about him, he doesn't care.
But I'm in too deep now that I live with them.
Despite their major flaws, I still find them captivating.
The way Shannon's eyes glisten
They way Chris says "oh..."
How her foot finds mine in the morning
how safe I feel wrapped up in his arms
the softness of her lips
the burning of his eyes as he watches me sleep
her cute crooked smile
how nervous he makes me feel
how awkward all this is still
Dating for almost 3 months, and I still can't simply say a sentence to them
Scared and alone
How did I ever think it was okay to date a drug dealer?
and his wife?
and the three kids??