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I'm starting to believe his words. The monster that he has me turned into. Thirst for more knowledge of the human behavior of this society. I'm finding out how people work inside their brain. We all don't think alike, but I believe that we share certain systems of how we think. If we are to think logically, emotionally, practically, all aspects of life according to the social situation.

There's so many cultures within the city's limit. From Indie to "Jersey Shore" fans, it's hard to believe that we all share the same system. We all breath, and live for a reason. We all have purpose, but at the same time... How are we the only humans in the Universe?

My mind races to thoughts that could potentially explode my brain. How did we know how to wheat into flour? Inventions freak me out. Where do they come up with their ideas? I can't imagine how scientists discovered atoms, or how cavemen made fire. This knowledge, Is there someone out there, or do the stars all have us on set paths such as destiny or fate?

Do I believe in destiny? I believe you can be destined to be apart of something, like a particular lifestyle. You get to choose your life, but the thoughts you think come for a reason.

Your birthday has a major impact on your personality, temper, and just how you perceive things.

Aries are impatient, restless, friendly, and loves to lead.
Taurus are independent to their emotions, secretive, detailed, and stable.
Gemini are very superficial, two-faced, adapt quickly and give honest advice.
Cancer are emotional, caring, and love to talk about anything.
Leos are encouraging, needy, but always brings the life to the party.
Virgos are picky, analyze every situation and perfectionists.
Libras are superficial, very posh, and solve social problems.
Scorpios are passionate, obsessive, and deep control freaks.
Sagittarius adventurous, unemotional, and completely honest.
Capricorns are here to help, very self disciplined, and nosy.
Aquarius are intellectual, inventive, and detached from Earth.
Pisces are lost followers who accepts everyone.

To be Continued...

If I'm so loved, then why do I still feel empty?

I tell myself time and time again to NOT feel this way. I hate the feeling where I'm questioning my motives, doubting my decisions, regretting my past. I desperately wish for a power switch. These thoughts NEED to GO AWAY! It's so frustrating and annoying to be constantly ran down by the same unanswered questions. What I'm doing with my life at the moment is none of my brain's concern. I'm trying to fucking live, and the little voice inside is fucking ruining it. That's not right, Jennifer. You should know better.
This relationship is driving me up the wall. All lies aside. Shannon is a psychotic bitch. She's easily angered, and will let you know by screaming top lung. The house has to be cleaned EVERY MOTHERFUCKING DAY and if it wasn't cleaned by her then it was cleaned wrong. She takes every word personally, which makes her mood swing faster than a baseball bat.
Chris is a slob. His teeth are never brushed. He never finishes his chores. His butt crack is always showing. If it isn't about him, he doesn't care.
But I'm in too deep now that I live with them.
Despite their major flaws, I still find them captivating.
The way Shannon's eyes glisten
They way Chris says "oh..."
How her foot finds mine in the morning
how safe I feel wrapped up in his arms
the softness of her lips
the burning of his eyes as he watches me sleep
her cute crooked smile
how nervous he makes me feel
how awkward all this is still
Dating for almost 3 months, and I still can't simply say a sentence to them
Scared and alone
How did I ever think it was okay to date a drug dealer?
and his wife?
and the three kids??