As I anticipated for that wretched city bus I thought back to a time when I was in love. I would not like to recall what I looked like only because I did not know who I was or what I pursued in, but i did know what i wanted and that was Reece.He stole my heart away that very moment he looked into my eyes. It wasn't out of attraction nor disgust. just as is. His eyes would always remind me of the beautiful spring midday skies. and I think how could someone make someone so beautiful? When he looks at me, for that moment everything seems to be okay, but i know reality is as twisted as my mind. For seven years now I've been in love with him. but does he care? I think he enjoys watching me struggle to get so close just so he can pull away. So many opportunities, and so many chances we had together wasted. I know that all the girls he dates are completely wrong for him, and in each of my relationships something is missing. I wouldn't wish to say that I'd only hope that he was happy in the end, only if the end was with me. I don't understand. He keeps repeating he wants to find that special someone, when in fact that special someone is right in front of him. Unless I'm so worthless that he wouldn't even consider me to be that person.

There's no way to word how perfect is. Even his flaws are perfect. If he had any. He not only stuns me and takes my breath away but whenever he looks my way, says my name, talks to me, does anything involving me I turn into complete slush. I feel really ugly and stupid around him. He's captivating, addicting, and brilliant. So many memories come to mind. One in particular when he begged and begged for me to let this gross guy walk me to the ball but I denied and said that if it was you I would. He asked if he could have the first slow dance. I was ecstatic and impatiently waited for that song. "I do cherish you" finally came on and i looked and looked but he was nowhere to be found. I got swept away by his best friend who was very grabby and his hands kept slipping on purpose. He walked in midsong with a face full of disappointment and so was I. My first slow dance was suppose to be with him and got ruined. Now he's just some guy I slow danced with. But that dance, my dreams came true in the worst way possible. I tripped over his feet and soaked his shirt with my nervous palms. We looked away a lot. Trying to not make things awkward even though they already were. How can something be so embarrassing yet be the best moment in my life.

If I've ever got three wishes, or even one wish. He'd of course be in one. Not saying that I'm completly obsessed over him, because it's not like that at all. The very thought of losing him completely brings tears to my eyes, or even the thought of all this time wasted to find that he doesn't even care about me. Not even a fraction. My three wishes would probably be mainly about him 1. I wish that Reece was a taurus or a virgo. Why? He's aquarius and totally shows it and I completly hate that. 2. I wish that Reece would possibly even consider the fact that it's killing me to wait. 3. I wish I was his special someone.

It's really hard not to go a day without thinking about him or wonder if he's going to text me back. I try to keep busy with other guys passing in and out of my life, but he will always be the last person I'll think about right before I go to sleep.