Living With Bipolar

The major thing is I'm glad is that all the testing is finally over. So it's not seizures, or just depression. Which I wish it was just depression. But no, I get to have a disorder. I hate it. I absolutely hate it. I don't want to be medicated. I don't want to have Bipolar. People will think i'm psycho if I told them I'm bipolar. I get to live with this virus for the rest of my life. It's unfair to Jessy to put him through all the mood swings. It's unfair to myself to feel up and down all the time. I wish I was just normal and stable. My emotions get the best of me. I hate myself so much. It brought my self-esteem to the ultimate low. It doesn't help that I've gained 10lbs. I just wish I was dead sometimes. Everything would be much better if I was gone.

My brain constantly hurts. When I started taking this medicine, the little voice in my head was gone, but as of today she's slowly coming back. As for the mood swings are slowly swinging. Medication doesn't help.