Wasn't that the one I won in?

I've gone through many "phases" in my life. I never really knew what group I belonged in. I've tried preppy, nerd, indie, emo, scene, hippie, name it I've possibly tried it. I just went with the flow really. I'm realizing that I've changed quite a bit over the years. I'm that the same sixteen year old mindset anymore. She dressed how she wanted with rainbow eyes and weird hair. She was inspired and depressed.

The past always drags me down. It haunts me. Remembering all the good times I had, makes me want to change my attitude, I just have to accept that I'm changing each and everyday, older and wiser. Change is good with all the new experiences, adventures, and knowledge of the world. I'm still depressed, finding that my social life only consists of my never-hear-from-boyfriend, and my family. I'm slowly realizing that Shannon was my ray of sunshine. I was just so afraid to open up for this exact reason of getting hurt.

When the time actually came it didn't hurt, because I didn't open up. I didn't tell her how it made me feel unreal when her eyes sparkled, or how her smile made me melt. I never opened up, because she rejected me with her cold behavior towards me. I wanted her as my girlfriend, she wanted to be alone with her husband, but her husband wanted me as his wife. We all kept our feelings inside. Like secrets, it tore us apart. We were all afraid of how each other felt. Our own love for each other, broke us up. She wants a divorce now and I don't know why. We're all lonely inside. Mainly me, since I don't live there anymore.

"Two more months and you'll be home." He breathed as he kissed me goodbye. It feels like a lifetime.