This has been the worst year yet. I wish I could redo last year. I’m so stupid
Why do all these people want me when I’m such a horrible person. I can’t even forgive myself for the actions that I’ve done. I can’t even love another person anymore. I know that I will hurt them. I shouldn't even talk to anybody, all I do is let them down. I’ve already let too many people down, including myself. I am what I didn’t want to be.

A whore. A stoner. A fucking slut. Pregnant?

I’ve let go the only thing worth living for. The only thing I was looking for. I just let it slip through my fingers. I broke it. I left it. I tortured it. It can’t even look me into the eyes anymore. It can’t even tell me anything anymore. It can’t even love me the same way anymore. I’ve ruined it.

I can’t believe something so kind and generous, and I just thought it was just another mark on my post.

I’ve been hurt to, but that doesn’t mean I had to treat it like shit. I think I would’ve rather been cheated on and together then to be dumped. Tyler, for example, dropped me like a bomb. I had no idea why. I thought that our relationship was perfect. Just one day he picks me up and tells me we are over. It's was then after he was gone, that I realized that I was just a rebound girl, and he ended up with his ex in Idaho. Another example, Hector. He lead me to believe that he liked me and that he wanted to go out with me. With me, being so nieve, I believed him and gave up my virginity to be with him. The very next day, he told me that he has found someone else, and never talked to me again. Another example, Dani. I knew that she was just a "hookup" kinda girl, but I thought I could change that. Five months long and she tells me that she wasn't looking for something serious anyways and left. Another Example, Taylor. The only time I don't act like my shy self, turns an oppurtunity into shit. I just took that first and that last kiss a little too far.
Another Example, Ryan. My first kiss. Sophomore year. I guess I got too attached to him, cuz then he started to avoid after he found out that he was my first. It just crushed me.

I've been dumped, ditched, cheated on, lied to, avoided, ignored, hurt.
So many times...